The Girl was eavesdropping on a group of young men and what she heard shocked her

A group of high school, college and single men dining in a fast food were discussing on a topic every man loves to talk about – girls.

But instead of talking about their sexual exploits and misadventures – this group of men were talking about how they can protect, provide and take care of their women.

A woman on the other table, overhearing the conversation can’t help but be glad with what she was hearing. Women are looking for men who would love them, protect them, provide for them and not treat them as second class citizens. She then wrote a note to the group.

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Our job description as men is to protect women and children from danger, manipulation, and all the harmful things life throws at us. We are called to be on the frontline. We are the guardians of our homes, our fiancees and our girlfriend.

In the beginning, God gave a mandate to Adam to teach and protect his wife. During the course of Satan’s temptation of Eve, Adam wasn’t absent. He was actually right next to her. But instead of stepping up and taking control of the situation to protect Eve from the serpent’s cunning, he passively waited to see if something bad would really happen.

Genesis 3:6

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

You see, if you love something, you will fight for it. You will be desperate for it. You fight for honour, respect and purity in your relationships. You will do whatever it takes to make it happen.

A man who says he really loves his wife, but is not fighting for the marriage, is saying baloney! A man who says he loves his kids, but has no time for them and will not fight to be present in their lives, is a passive father. A boyfriend who says I love you daily to his girlfriend but would use her for his sexual needs is selfish. You see, talk is cheap. Love requires action. A lover is a fighter.

Fight for your relationships. Love your wife. Single men, love your girlfriend. Treat her with utmost respect. Honour your bodies. Keep your hands off and your clothes on.

By the way you can join our BIBLICAL MANHOOD FACEBOOK GROUP here. Open to all men only:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1393416954289639/

Also you can add me up on Facebook by joining my page for latest updates on blogs, ministry and articles on leadership and manhood.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dennis-Sy/127076267338267?ref=hl

And my twitter account: https://twitter.com/DennisSiaSy

And my instagram account: @actlikeaman

 

 

Idle Men

“There are probably more idle men now than at any time since the Great Depression, and this time the problem is mostly structural, not cyclical. These men will find it hard to attract spouses. Many will pick up habits that have a corrosive cultural influence on those around them.” – David Brooks

theidlemanYou can choose now to be the kind of man you want to be. There is a growing tend of men now who are jobless or who can’t hold a job for six months. In a gender study done in America, Mitch Pearlstein wrote in his article, “Broken Families, Broken Economy,

Under normal circumstances, boys grow up and marry the women who become the mothers of their children. If, however, they reach adulthood unable to hold a job, stay sober, or keep out of jail, they quickly find that desirable women have little interest in hitching themselves to them.

When men don’t man-up, the effect is a decline in marriage, a decline in economy and a decline in society. So let us not belittle our role as men in our cities and families. We are to be men of honor and men whom others would respect and look up to. We just have to.

You can join our BIBLICAL MANHOOD FACEBOOK GROUP here. Open to all men only:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1393416954289639/

Also you can add me up on Facebook by joining my page for latest updates on blogs, ministry and articles on leadership and manhood.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dennis-Sy/127076267338267?ref=hl

And my twitter account: https://twitter.com/DennisSiaSy

And my instagram account: @actlikeaman

 

The Lord’s Man

Jeremiah 9:23-25 NLT

23 This is what the Lord says:
“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom,
    or the powerful boast in their power,
    or the rich boast in their riches.
24 But those who wish to boast
    should boast in this alone:
that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord
    who demonstrates unfailing love
    and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth,
and that I delight in these things.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!

25 “A time is coming,” says the Lord, “when I will punish all those who are circumcised in body but not in spirit—

MEN,  this is an admonition from the Lord!

Don’t think you are good that you are beyond coachable, that the Spirit of God can’t teach you new things or that you are untouchable because you have gained some earthly power or leadership. Don’t even live like entitled men who would take pride in your bank account and riches.

Remember, we are who we are today because it is God who has given us the ability, the opportunity and the environment – thus we thrive and excel. Men, you don’t boast about your manhood – you live it out. We are called to be men who loves as Jesus loved the church. There is nothing magical about that kind of attitude. It is expected of real men. We are men of love, justice and righteousness.

Men, the Lord is reminding us that our manhood is not defined by our circumcision of the body, but the change that is in our hearts as we live out our lives here on earth.

Mother’s Day

11083886_10153895007785021_320130156713638812_nAs some of you know, Thammie is pregnant with our 4th baby. It has been amazing to see how mothers in general would love to have babies but at the same time go through 9 months of carrying a baby in their womb. It is hard work considering they have to wait for labor day.

Yes, labor. It’s hard work. Thus I honor you Thammie for your labor. Your labor cannot be compensated with money. It’s labor with love. It’s the hardship of the first trimester. It’s the strange feelings you get because your body is changing. It is the heaviness of your body because a baby is growing. No matter how disciplined you are with what you eat, you will feel heavier. It’s motherhood and you carry it with such grace.

When you had a hard time the first three months, you never complained. You take it like a mom on a mission. You know you were designed for this! I honor you for that!

I honor you for being humble and not taking pride of your achievements. I honor you for not making your lamaze labor a major achievement because you know it is what mothers go through.

I honor you for homeschooling our kids. I thank you that even in the midst of three kids and one on the way – you never grumbled and complained about the things needed to be done and the grades needed to be passed and the requirements needed for our kids to go to the next level – you take it as a mother on a mission.

I honor you for finding time to minister to me. You know that I could be a big baby sometimes but you understand. You spend time with me. You served me with an unconditional love. You know you are a wife first before you are a mother. You are a woman who understands -this is how God designed it to be. You are a woman on a mission.

I honor you for being my ministry partner. With all the ministry burdens and the discipleship that goes around- and some peaks and valleys – you take it as a woman on a mission. You cling to Jesus. You run to Jesus as your strength. Sometimes, I know I cannot do anything, with the things you have to juggle – but you live another day and just embrace God’s mission for you.

It’s all grace. God’s grace! It’s amazing when a mother relies on God’s grace. It is amazing when a mother finds her identity in Christ and not in her family, her achievements or her busyness.

Thank you. Happy Mother’s day Thammie! You are a great mom!

Check out Thammie’s latest blogs here:

1. Moms on a Mission

2. My Top 11 Pregnancy life Savers

 

Amazon Kindle Deals of the Week

Prices may change anytime soon! Enjoy!!!!

  MOTHER’S DAY DEAL

1. The Art of Mentoring: Embracing the Great Generational Transition BY DARLENE ZSCHECH

2. Let’s Go on a Mommy Date BY KAREN KINGSBURY

3. 10 Women Every Christian Should Know (Ebook Shorts): Learning from Heroines of the Faith

4. Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream of You BY STASI ELDREDGE. Book below is a free study guide! Get it now!

5. Becoming Myself 8-Session Study Guide: Embracing God’s Dream of You BY STASI ELDREDGE

6. The youth version of Free to Be Me: Becoming the Young Woman God Created You to Be

and my favorite woman preacher Christine Caine

7. Unstoppable: Running the Race You Were Born To Win

SOME GREAT DEALS

1. I Give You Authority: Practicing the Authority Jesus Gave Us
BY CHARLES KRAFT

2. Against All Odds by Chuck Norris

BOOKS BY KEVIN DE YOUNG:

1. Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book about a (Really) Big Problem

2. Taking God At His Word: Why the Bible Is Knowable, Necessary, and Enough, and What That Means for You and Me

3. The Hole in Our Holiness: Filling the Gap between Gospel Passion and the Pursuit of Godliness

4. Don’t Call It a Comeback (Foreword by D. A. Carson): The Old Faith for a New Day (The Gospel Coalition)

BOOKS BY MATT CHANDLER

1. To Live Is Christ to Die Is Gain BY MATT CHANDLER

2. Recovering Redemption: A Gospel Saturated Perspective on How to Change

Marriage Boosters

I am excited to announce our upcoming Marriage Booster 2015 at Victory Greenhills happening on June 10, 17 and 24. I will be speaking with my good friend Chinkee Tan.

This is a bargain! Fee would be P300 for three weeks and that includes some light snacks! To register: attend our Sunday services and register after the service or go to our office at 4th floor VMALL, Greenhills Shopping Center.

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Why I Don’t Allow my Kids to Sleepover

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Almost every kid I know have experienced sleepovers. As a young kid, I was only allowed to sleepover when I was 13 and it was on very rare occasions. I really have nothing against sleepovers before but as a former youth pastor and now as a pastor of a church – I have heard just too many horror stories of sleepovers.

I’ll give you why sleepover is not a good idea.

1. Culture has changed.

The rampant stories and sexual abuse that has happened in the past five years are overwhelming. It is not surprising to hear so many sexual exploitations occur during sleepovers. Whether it is a relative, a cousin or a brother’s friend or parents of the teens – everyone is susceptible to unwanted sexual activities that can be avoided because of sleepovers.

In his book Bringing Up Girls, James Dobson says:

Sadly, the world has changed in the last few decades, and it is no longer a safe place for children. Pedophiles and child molesters are more pervasive than ever. That is why parents must be diligent to protect their kids every hour of the day and night. …

Until you have dealt with little victims as I have and seen the pain in their eyes, you might not fully appreciate the devastation inflicted by molestation. It casts a long shadow on everything that follows, including future marital relationships. Therefore, parents have to think the unthinkable in every situation. The threat can come from anywhere—including neighbors, uncles, stepfathers, grandfathers, Sunday school teachers, coaches, music instructors, Scout leaders, and babysitters. Even public bathrooms can be dangerous today…

 

Another thing that usually happens in sleepovers are sexual conversations among friends that are not guided by mature Christian adults. A lot have their sexual awakening in sleepovers. Again no such thing as “safe friends since they are a Christian family” – because the safest thing to do is not to have sleepovers.

The disadvantages of sleepovers far outweighs the advantages of sleepover – which is actually close to none.

2. Same sex temptations

You might be saying, well I only allow same sex sleepovers! Okay, here is the deal – it doesn’t really matter now with a lot of same-sex sexual temptations and activities happening – I would rather be on the safe side.

I had a friend who was sexually molested while sleeping by in his friend’s house. He said he never knew what happened but later on the guy friend confessed that he did took advantage of him sexually.

What was frustrating in this situation is that my friend knew that his friend was sexually attracted with other men and to put yourself in such a tempting situation is not only foolish but also selfish.

Also we have to keep our antenna up – parents you have a gift called Spidey Sense and sometimes you already have doubts in your mind about this specific person hanging around with your kids all the time (some much older than your kids), – trust your instinct. Don’t be afraid to be labeled as anti-fun by other parents who would advocate free range parenting because your kids are not free-range chickens – they are your kids

3.  It can happen to anyone.

I have never shared this publicly except with some friends and other leaders in our church but it almost happened to me 20 years ago. I was in a camp as a camp counsellor when one night I was awakened by a hand that was touching my thigh. At first I thought it was nothing but I tried to pull out his hand but it became more forceful. I forced myself out of the situation and turned on the lights but surprisingly – everyone looked asleep. I went back to sleep shrugging off the experience when less than 5 minutes upon lying down – his hands was on my thigh again inching its way up. I had to shout for him to know I will not back down. Good thing was that he never tried it again.

The next day I was too shocked, embarrassed to confront the guy who did it to me. I was 15 at that time and I didn’t know any better. I should have asked some authorities to take action but again I didn’t know any better. I could also have knocked the living daylight out of him but I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do and I felt at that time that there was no proof who did it to me except that I knew nobody was capable of doing it except that other man in the room with me.

You see – my point is that it can happen to anyone and when it happens to someone – that someone might not even know what to do next or how to react. Most sexual victims feel they are partly to be blamed when they are sexually molested and abused.

POINT OF ACTION:

1. Parents – decide on whether you will allow sleepovers (whether its your kids sleeping over other people’s home or the other way around) Weigh the pros and cons of sleepovers with your spouse before talking to your kids.

Some parents I know only have trusted people whom they will allow to sleepover with their kids at their house. Thammie and I made a decision that only a very limited number of people are allowed to sleepover our house and that our kids are not allowed to sleepover somebody else’s house.

2. Pastors and Youth Pastors.

It would be a very wise move not to sleepover someone else’s house or invite the young people you are ministering to sleepover your house. As shepherds of the flock, you must be wise, above reproach and not put your flock in tempting situations. With the rise of dysfunctional family structures and sexual culture – our role as pastors is to lead them spiritually and teach them to not have even a hint of sexual compromise.

3. Young person

Not because everyone is doing it – you will go with the flow. Be futuristic. Don’t live for the NOW but live for the future. Again there is too much casualties happening because of sleepovers. Make a decision to stay away from tempting situations. Choose to go home rather than sleep over someone else’s house for your sake and your friend’s sake.

Here are some good reads on other families who decided not to do sleepovers:

1. Why My Family Doesn’t Do Sleepovers

2. Should you Allow your Kids to Sleepover?

Three Qualities We Desperately Need from Pastors

Exodus 18:21English Standard Version (ESV)

21 Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.

According to Jethro, here are the qualities we desperately need:

1. Leaders who fear God.

Leaders who have an attitude of reverence towards God and their calling to serve as God’s shepherd. A man who fears God is never flippant about morality. He is repentant when he sins and would search for accountability.

2. Leaders who tell the truth.

We live in a culture that lies to itself. We are good at it. It’s time we ask Jesus to set us free from lies and be vulnerable and honest to ourselves and others around us.

3. Leaders who hate dishonest gain.

I honor my spiritual leaders who hate dishonest gain, who has a high level of accountability when it comes to our lifestyle, finances of the church and the preaching of the Word.

Let us pray for God to raise a generation of leaders who would love and fear Him.

Five Types of Dysfunctions Among Pastors

According to Larry Stockstill, senior pastor of Bethany World Prayer Center list down 5 common dysfunctions among ministers today:

1. Lack of Fathering

– there is no affirmation, encouragement or spiritual covering.

2. Lack of Correction

– no accountabilty resulting in pride and moral failure.

3. Lack of Fruitfulness

– no training in evangelism and discipleship, preventing churches from multiplying as they should.

4. Lack of healing

– many pastors suffer silently because of sins and addictions.

5. Lack of teaching

– many in ministry today are untaught, resulting in biblically illiterate churchs.

taken from The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale: Rekindling the Power of God in an Age of Compromise, page 102

 

The Holy Spirit is not For Sale

The book I am currently reading is by J Lee Grady, editor of Charisma Magazine, entitled The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale: Rekindling the Power of God in an Age of Compromise, and I believe this is one powerful book every Christian leader needs to read.

In his chapter on the Fire of the Supernatural Anointing, he gave his readers some guidelines to follow in order to avoid being deceived from churches and movements that abuse the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

1. Don’t deify human beings.

Christians are prone to deifying preachers. I know that because I am one. We live in an entertainment-filled culture. We tend to make Christian celebrities out of pastors or ministries. Also when some people from the entertainment industry gets saved, we invite them to different ministries and extol them not thinking about first discipling them and getting them grounded. When we love a certain preacher, we tend to level his preaching to the word of God. That is when things become spooky and mystical.

Don’t deify people. Most can’t handle that kind of treatment. As pastors, we also need to guard our hearts. Don’t believe your own press release. Don’t let pride settle in your mind and your heart.

Paul was tempted to be one but rejected the suggestion. ( Acts 14:11-12, 28:6). Jesus is the hero, not you.

2. Don’t elevate anointing over character.

It was pastor Jim Laffoon who warned us years ago – don’t measure yourself under the anointing. As pastors, when we move in the anointing, it is for the people to be ministered to. Don’t even think for a second that it is because of you.

In the New testament, we are given guidelines on the character of people who should be leading the church (1 Timothy 3:2-7). Just follow the biblical command and we eliminate most of the problems we have in church.

3. Dismiss the sensational.

I personally had to fight with this inside the church. We would have other people exposed to other ministries related to the manifest gifts of the Holy Spirit and they would sensationalize everything. Everything was about healing, casting out demons while neglecting the work of the Holy Spirit when it comes to repentance and discipleship.

When ministries tend to sensationalize the Holy Spirit, our spider sense must be warning us already. It is red flag! It is a warning. When ministries tend to deify their pastor or preachers – that is a red flag.

Galatians 5:22-23 gives us guidelines on the fruit of the Holy Spirit. When preachers tend to highlight the person rather than Jesus – think hard.

When teachings become sensational and out of Scripture – run as far away as you can. I have personally heard of people being encouraged to get out of their bodies and have a field trip in heaven, casting out demons by transferring demons to stronger Christians so they could ultimately cast it out since the stronger Christian can handle the demons, people shaking violently and howling – I know it sounds like I am joking – I am not. Ask J Lee Grady.

4. Teach and practice discernment (I Corinthians 12:10)

1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Test the Spirits. One of the things I always asked before I hear a certain preacher or invite a certain preacher is if he/she is working under the local church. We have seen so many fly by night preachers and prophets who are not working under the covering of a legitimate local church.

I have heard of so called prophets being invited to small groups and bible studies and would prophesy over people and then ask for money from them. Some would preach sensationalism using the manifest gifts of the Spirit.

If you are under a local church, inquire first from your local pastors if they know anything about certain individuals before even proceeding to attend their meetings or invite them. But the best practice is for you to work and minister in your local church, asking the Lord to empower you to make disciples and move in the power of the Holy Spirit.

KEY is to work under the local church.

5. Enforce accountability

During the first year of our church in Greenhills, a lady preacher from the States who was attending the church in Sundays wanted to meet with me. When we had the meeting I was surprised because she had notes of things she didn’t like about the church.

Number 1: That I am not as empowered because I am accountable to our senior leadership team in Metro Manila.

I then told her I am so happy with our leadership, because I am working under the covering of men who fear God and who would hold me accountable if ever I do something wrong.

Number 2: She was angry because I did not acknowledged her ordaining some members in our church who deified her.

I told her on what power can you ordain members of our church. You don’t even have legal rights in the Philippines, which is a Christian nation, to ordain members you like. Secondly, I told her that the members you ordained are not qualified under 1Timothy 3 to be ordained ministers. I then informed her that we treat the ministry of pastors with sacredness and not just ordain people because they support our ministry.

She wanted no accountability. This is how cults operate and are birthed. When a specific man is above everyone and wants no accountability. They are what Jude called “hidden reefs” and clouds without water.

Jude 1:12English Standard Version (ESV)

12 These are hidden reefs[a] at your love feasts, as they feast with you without fear,shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted;