by Michelle Ramos

Our church is currently on a series entitled “Intrusion”. And I have never really realized that God had intruded in my life until I heard the preaching at church for the past 2 Sundays.

Intrusion in the dictionary means entrance by force or without permission or welcome

Pause and think about it. There are a lot of times that we plan and do things our way and we never really think about what God has to say. And more often than not, we fail. But God is a loving Father and He would not let His children be on the miry clay forever. He intrudes. He comes to our life even if He is unwelcome. He still loves and helps us even though we take him for granted most of the time.

It was when I thought my world is turning up-side-down that God intruded and was actually turning it right-side-up! It was over 4 years ago when I stopped going to school and started working to help my parents support the expenses at home and the school needs of my two siblings that were also in college. I was very disappointed. I never saw it coming and I felt like it’s just very unfair for me because I entered college as a scholar, and I know that I have always been a good girl, student and daughter. But God knows me better than I know myself. He messed everything up. All my plans and goals in life suddenly disappeared and I caught myself unprepared.

My life turned up-side-down.

Insecurity hit me. I cry once in a while because of my circumstance, feeling that I will never meet new friends, even worse, my old friends will never want to be with me because I’m not continuing college. I have stopped joining my high school friends’ get together parties because I’m afraid that they might be talking about their college life and I have nothing to share about it. I have strived to be a people pleaser doing things I thought will help me gain friends, things I thought were cool enough for me to gain acceptance from other people. I was so stucked in my circumstance that I didn’t realized that God can turn things around. I saw myself on miry clay. The more I work hard and do things my way, the deeper I sink. God has put me on that position where I cannot help myself anymore. Place where no one can really save me but Him. Little did I know, God has started to show me that He is the only one I need, that I don’t need to strive for acceptance from other people. He put me into a pit filled with miry clay where I have no choice but to realize that I will only be struggling more if I will still try to work to save myself, He made me realize that it is only Him who will be able to lift me up from that pit. He intruded to help and save me. But when God intruded, my circumstance did not change overnight.

It took 4 years for me to realize that He was the only one who worked on everything that happened in my life. Four years of hardship and sacrifice. I had to go through a lot of trials and difficulties as He removes the things in my life that won’t really help me grow in the grace and knowledge of Him. He taught me lessons, showed me what real love is and made me selflessly work hard for my family. He changed my heart.

He changed the desires of my heart.

And He turned my life right-side-up!

I don’t know how God made the transition in me when He started to intrude. But what I learned is that, God has prepared me for His work. It’s hard but it’s also important for Him to first remove the bad and stinky fruit in me before He put a new, pure and sweet one. It was my heart’s desire to go back to school and to desperately work hard for my selfish dreams. It was all about Me, Me and Me!

I realized that I have been selfish all this time, even before when I was still studying. I planned and worked on my dreams without even thinking if it was really what the Lord plans for me. I never thought that God has a better game plan and I did not realize it until God intruded. He has given me a new heart. A heart that is passionate to seek more of His face than His hands, a heart that honors my parents and a heart that selflessly works hard to help my sister graduate.

Truly the Lord works on every situation for His glory. He hears our prayers and keeps His promises. Surely, He does not delay His promises a day longer than He plans. My sister is graduating this month and my heart shouts for praises to the Lord who was with me every step of the way. And knowing that I can now go back to school and finish my studies makes me want to glorify Him more for I know that He has worked out every detail in my life and He is still working out details! I don’t know where I will be now if God did not intrude in my life. As I look back to all the sleepless nights at work, all the tears I cried and every sacrifice I made, not for myself but for other people, I can’t help but get in to my knees and worship my Lord, my Savior, my Father who changed my heart- a heart that now desires for whatever His heart desires for me. A heart that is so hungry for His presence. A heart that longs and runs for God more than anything else in this world. All praises to you, my Lord!