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August 11, 2009

UNCENSORED: Live-In and Pre-marital sex

newsThere is a trend right now that more couples are not getting married. It is not because of financial problems or career advancement but it has become an alternative choice for couple just to live in one roof, sleep in one bed without going through the process of marriage.

Now with a lot of people living in and with the times changing won’t be it wise financially, emotionally for couples to just live in and skip marriage?

My answer would be NO. Now before you react let me give you my uncensored reasons why. Some are practical and some are biblical.

PRACTICAL REASONS:

1. Without marriage it is easy to quit the relationship. In tagalog, wala kang hawak sa partner mo. In short it is a lose-lose situation. Anytime one of you decides to end the relationship it is the end. Most of the time the women are taken advantage of in this kind of setting.

2. The men’s leadership is not tested. Since their is a lack of commitment and accountabilty to your partner, the man is not able to really lead. Living in is an easy way out for both parties. Men can opt not to lead the relationship. There is a low level of trust because there is no real commitment. Marriage is a rite of passage for men. Marriage tells them you are now responsible for someone. So don’t deprive the man of your life that privilege.

SPIRITUAL REASON

1. Because God instituted marriage. Marriage is God-made. Marriage is a divine covenant you enter with God as a couple. You are declaring that we are accountable first of all to God. So if you ever fool your partner – you are accountable to God. Now that is heavy! I would never go against God.

You ask,  “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.  Malachi 2:14

2. Sex outside marriage is a SIN.

I was a bit surprised when we started counseling couple who were living in, almost half of the people we counselled were not aware that the Bible prohibits pre-marital sex and living in. They thought it was normal and accepted by culture. You can’t blame the people who don’t know. Name me at least 3 recent movies that portrays unmarried couple not having sex. Hmmmm…. can’ think of one right?

Here is what the Bible say about sex outside marriage

¶ Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  Hebrews 13:4

So what do I do now?

1. If you are in a relationship right now that you know is not pleasing to God, talk to your partner and make a decision to treat each other with love and respect and to obey God and honor Him by keeping the marriage bed pure. It would not be easy I tell you but it is worth the sacrifice. If God is honored, your relationship will be blessed. It owuld be hard for God to bless a relationship that goes against His Word.

2. Look for mentors in church who could keep you accouintable and help you in your relationship.

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