on relationships

August 09, 2011

I have a problem with my pastor

Pastor Dennis, I learned something disturbing about a pastor in our church. I’ve had the utmost respect for him before but now, totally nawala (gone) because of what I learned. How do I deal with it?

First of all I don’t know your situation with your pastor, how you got hold of the story. Was it an accusation? Is it a confirmed story? Have you heard both sides of the story? I have been in numerous accusations been a victim of hearing just one side of the story. My advice is to hear both sides of the story if the story/ accusation is true.

In case the accusation is false, make sure to inform the pastor being gossiped. I think he needs to know. Also be the bridge so that the accuser and the pastor could meet face to face and talk about it. In our case, if there is an accusation made against one of our pastors and leaders, I ask the accuser if he is willing to go with me and confront the pastor being accused. If he begs off even if I told him that I will accompany him/her, it means the accusation won’t stand. On the same breath, I do confront the pastor and would ask for his side of the story.

In the case the accusation is true, it would be best to go straight to the other pastors of the church or elders of the church. Get only the people involved in the problem. Even if the story is true, we need to move in the spirit of honor which means only all the people who are either part of the problem or part of the solution should be involved.

Got questions? Post it at my formspring site, http://www.formspring.me/askpastordennis

 

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