on marriage

February 08, 2010

Girl’s room

Two days ago I blogged about the BOY’S ROOM and how men should leave their rooms and build a house for his wife.

Now you might say the blog does not apply to me since I live in my mother-in-law’s house then we’ve got a BIGGER problem!!!!

Why am I an advocate for COUPLES to LEAVE their parents and CLEAVE together to start a NEW LIFE?

1. It is the Biblical way.

Gen. 2:23  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
Gen. 2:24  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

2. It helps your Boy become a MAN.

Starting your own family could be one of the biggest challenges a man would face. It means he must learn how to work, budget, save, invest, pray, and lead. When you live in your parent’s house you rob yourself of a chance to lead.

Some people argue that living in their parent’s house would save them a large amount of money. Well that may be true but in exchange for what? – not growing as a man? I’d rather be poor for a season and learn become a man than to save a few pesos and remain a boy who can’t stand up on his own two feet.

3. The wife ain’t happy.

Your wife didn’t sign up for this. Married to you and your family. Give her a break. Living in your house makes her a slave to the real queen – your mother. She needs to be the queen of her own home. it might not be a big castle but ask her what she prefers – to be Rapunzel trapped in a lonely castle or Cinderella away from her stepmother and stepsisters?

Exception to the rule:

When can couple decide to stay in their parent’s house? I think the answer is simple. When parents of any ( man or wife) are incapable of living on their own ( sickness, old age, parent’s cant walk or stand) then I think it is just proper to take care of your parents and even let them live in your house. It would also be wise to talk to your spouse and agree upon the arrangement before making a major decision.

It would also be healthy to communicate to your parents that you are now a MAN and you make your own decisions. Them staying in your house means to have to follow the rules you and your spouse made. Same case with you staying in their house.

Another important note: If the setup adds a lot of unwanted stress to your spouse – I would highly reconsider the arrangment and make some major and drastic adjustments. ( my personal opinion)

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