on FATHERHOOD

December 17, 2010

From the Preacher’s Wife: The Pastor’s Kid

I just heard it— the phrase I told myself I would not allow anyone to say about my children.

“Anak ka pa naman ng pastor.” (a not-so-direct translation: “And you call yourself a pastor’s kid??”)

Early on, I knew I couldn’t escape the possibility of someone making this remark about my kids. I knew that people generalizing the behavior of my children is somewhat bound to happen. If either of them behaved exceptionally well, people would say, “Wow. Anak ka kasi ng pastor(“Ah. That’s because you’re a pastor’s kid”) . If any of them acted defiantly, people would also be quick to reprimand, “Uy, be good. anak ka pa naman ng pastor!” (“Be good. You’re a pastor’s kid!”)

Let me just say this once and for all:

My goal for my children is not to raise them as moral people-pleasers, who are only concerned about holding up a certain image because they are “pastor’s kids”.

Nuh-uh.

My goal for my children is to raise them as God-fearing, Christ-centered individuals, whose primary concern is to love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. My goal is for them to understand the extent of God’s love and the fullness of the power of what Christ has done for them on the cross, thus enabling them to live lives that are a blessing to those around them, and that will give their Heavenly Father– not their pastor dad, the glory.

I wouldn’t want my kids to feel that false burden of trying to live up to a certain standard that the world demands of them by virtue of their dad’s occupation. I don’t think this is fair for them.

Besides, no one ever says to a doctor’s kid, “What?! You don’t know how to use a scalpel and save a life yet?? You’re a doctor’s kid!” or “You’re a lawyer’s kid, surely you memorize the constitution already!” To make this kind of generalization is simply absurd.

It’s no different for “pastor’s kids”.

They are, like all other kids, child-like in behavior, and still childish in many ways. They are, like all other kids, a work in progress. In and of themselves, they are sinful and selfish. In and of themselves, they are bound for hell. Like every other kid, they are in need of their parents’ love, guidance, and discipline. Like every other kid, it takes some time for them to correct certain attitudes, habits, and behaviors that are wrong. Like every other human being, they need God’s grace in their lives.

I have said that I wouldn’t want my children trying to live up to men’s expectations of them. I do, however, require my children to live by Biblical standards simply because of who their God is.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts…” – Deuteronomy 6:4-6

The last thing I would want to happen is for my children to grow up being morally good yet missing the whole point– that the Lord is their God.

Thammie Sy is married to Pastor Dennis. They have 2 daughters. Thammie has her own website, click here to visit her site

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